No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just puked most of my soul out..
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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