I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
