so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
