There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
