Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
And then he peed in my hair
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