Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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