i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
