Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
