Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
