...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
