I want to make a zoo with you.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
