I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
