My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
