Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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