hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
