Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
