how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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