You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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