So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
