Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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