We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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