This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
