That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
