my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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