Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
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The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
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You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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