ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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