Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.