it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over