I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
