ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
