if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week