new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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