ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize