Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
