like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she told me i tasted like america
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
