I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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