I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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