dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
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I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
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I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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