Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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