so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
