i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I have aggressive nipples.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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