all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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