Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
