My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
