Got a toothbrush?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
