Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
