If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
