Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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