I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
