I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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