That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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