I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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