The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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