at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
