We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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