Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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