When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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