Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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