I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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