google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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