Where is the hickey?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
