There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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