Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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