Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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