Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
