This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
