oh god the rape fog is back!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
