Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
