if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
