It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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